[[ Surrender ]]

Surrender.

An interesting word. Read the meaning with the connotation of jesus and this journey we are on with him. See if anything makes sense...

Surrender:

1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand.
2. To give up in favor of another.
3. To give up or give back (something that has been granted)
4. To give up or abandon.
5. To give over or resign to, as to an emotion.

Our journey with jesus started with surrender. We surrendered to our pride and our having it together. Our need for jesus to come in and do a miraculous work came out of surrender. As i began to read through the definition of surrender, i couldn't help but smile. We HAVE to surrender everyday. All day. If we don't, we rival God's glory. In our humaness, we tell him we STILL have it together, and we don't need him. You know this battle don't you? I know i do. The good news says this: That if we surrender to jesus and declare that God is God and we are not, then we will experience jesus. We will experience the union we already have with the holy spirit. (Then of course, we will go and talk about how the holy spirit was there) You know what im talking about. The reason for me writing about surrender is because it has been a re-occurring theme for me and some guys that i live life with. Just to clear the air, if ever i refer to "some guys" in this journal, im referring to the 4 other guys i live with and 2 others. Whom i would do anything for. I love those guys!

Back to surrender...

First of all, i want to go ahead and SURRENDER to spiritual pride and an expectation to discover some ground breaking revelation. I surrender to that. This is just out of the overflow of my heart and what jesus is doing in and thru me.

Its funny to me how i fight surrender so often. I believe it has something to do with the fact that the culture i've grown up in frowns at giving up anything. Much less our pride. The thought of surrendering a good and innocent desire is not popular in this culture of america. You get where im going with that. But still, surrender is what we really want. It's in us to want to surrender to something. I have to believe that every single human being that has ever walked the dirt of this earth, wants to surrender to something so much bigger. Being God-Almighty. The reason why i believe that is because we were all created by Him and for Him. All of us. Then there are those, who in his grace, he chose to know him. But every single person that has ever lived or ever will live were created with this indescribable desire to want to surrender. Pride is what sets the people of God apart from the wicked. Pride is how the enemy (whom we are still dealing with) came about. Do you see???

There have been some situations in my life and in the lives of others around me that has pointed me here. To be honest with you and let you see where im coming from, i will tell of some situations in my life that i have had trouble surrenderring to. Follow me in this next story.

Sunday October 30, 2005
After Church at Aumc

I am at Church with all my friends. I just finished listening to a great message by a guy just one year older than me. The message was to give up. Funny, i know. He might as well have just come on out with it and said: "SURRENDER!" I do the normal thing and take it for what it is and then just kind of leave it in the back of my mind. I begin to walk around talking to people afterwards, because thats what i do. I like to talk to people. I can't help it. As im talking to a few folks, insecurity comes flying at me out of nowhere. Im not kidding, i was under it just 5 minutes after the speaker prayed us out. I was rattled because 4 different people didn't really seem interested in me. Lies mounted on each other and i wasn't believing the best about them...i eventually left and went straight home. I was in desperate need of jesus to come and satisfy me. It was really hard to surrender at this point. Because i've got flesh rising up and trying to stake its claim. The holy spirit was leading me though. I heard him. Whispering and revealing to me this insecurity and need to be satisfied. I must tell you that the moment i spoke aggreance with jesus on this, i felt a peace and joy come over me that is inexplainable. No online journal can truly capture what happened in my apartment yesterday after church. I would love to continue writing about that incident and tell you more cool things that occured...but i can't. I rested in his prescence and let him satisfy me.

I wrote this in my journal and now i would like to share it with you....

"May surrender become even more evident in my life. May love lead me to the place of jesus' heart, where and only where i can be fully satisfied."

"Center my mind on what the voice of my shepherd is saying. May my desire to be loved, accepted, and satisfied by a woman who loves you (which is totally an innocent desire) be surrendered to you. To be so content that my mind is oblivious to anything outside of jesus. Let my thoughts stray to no where accept to your truth."

"Make me fall before you, so that humility goes forth, and i can be in your prescence."

"I give all to you. This will not be the last time I have to do this, because it is certainly not the first."

[[ Praise jesus that out of SURRENDER comes SATISFACTION ]]

Really pay attention to the last prayer. Surrender isn't a one time deal. Its a lifestyle of abandonment. Thank you for reading. Now Go...live a life of surrender and let jesus satisfy you.

surrendered,
johnchristian::